Support

DH and I have been seeing a counselor together for a couple months now. I think we are getting a lot out of it. We have an appointment tomorrow after several weeks off because she was out of town. I am actually looking forward to it, oddly. I will be happy to report that we've really had a pretty smooth three weeks, with only one bad blip.

I have thought for a while that I need to someone on my own though. I have all these thoughts and images in my head that I really want to just go away. I realize that they may never go away. But I can learn to deal with them better, handle them in a way that isn't so paralyzing. When I have bad days, I can sit and think and have myself so worked up and upset that I'm crying and agonizing. I just feel like I want to move beyond that.

So over the weekend I had been searching online for some infidelity resources. I came across one that I am very interested in. It is called BAN - Beyond Affairs Network. It was founded by a Canadian woman. She has a book called (something like) "My Husband's Affair Was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me". I may never agree with THAT statement as it pertains to my own life, but the book looks very interesting. I ordered a copy and it should arrive tomorrow. I also contacted the closest BAN chapter and think I will attend a meeting next week. The whole organization just seems positive....not positive that everyone can save their marriage, but positive that this is something you can live through and grow from. So I'm planning to check it out.