Apologies - how much is enough?

My husband has apologized over and over....verbally, in writing, just by the look on his face. I know he is sorry. At first, it seemed like he was more sorry for having to deal the mess he'd made. But as time went on, it was obvious that he had become quite distressed by the pain he'd caused me and the horribleness of what he'd done to me and our marriage and even himself. For now anyway, we have moved past the anguished stage. I don't think either of us are in a state of constant suffering. But the other day I had this almost irresistible urge to ask him "are you REALLY sorry?? Really really sorry?" I managed to NOT ask.....because I started thinking about it.....how many apologies are necessary? I guess in our case, the first ones were probably not all that sincere....the later ones definitely were. I think one totally sincere, heartfelt apology would be enough. What would I gain by asking him if he's sorry again? And again and again? And I also think that demanding constant apologies would just keep things fresh....things that I WANT to fade away.

We did have a slightly humorous thing happen last week. He was not laughing but I had to. I worked last week. A friend asked me to come help her out with a big project, so I worked 2 days. The second day, we had a lull so I texted DH. All I said was "What are you doing?" That was all, word-for-word. He wrote back "HUH???" So I wrote back "What don't you understand?" Immediately my cell phone rang. He was not frantic but clearly worried "What's wrong?"he asked. I said nothing was wrong. He asked if I was SURE nothing was wrong, was I okay, did something happen. I said again, no, nothing was wrong, and why in the world did he think something was wrong? What did he think happened? He said he had no idea....that maybe I'd found something or someone had called me or something. I asked him what would I have found and he said "there's nothing TO find but I know that you have found things that are old or that you've taken wrong". Then I asked who in the hell would have called me? He said "I have no idea when or if someone is going to get the idea to call you up". I think that when things are going fairly well, he is just terrified that something is going to happen to rock the boat and set me off. I guess we both deal with crazy thoughts. I just found it incredibly hilarious that the simple question of "what are you doing?" packed such a punch.

I am actually in a pretty good place right now. I would not say I'm blissfully happy, but I am becoming more content as time goes on. DH and I are more comfortable together now....there's not CONSTANT tension and fear that something is going to happen (not constant, but see above paragraph :P). I also feel like I know where my life is going. I feel pretty positive that things are going to work out between us. But I am also positive that I will put up with nothing else.....if he slips up in any way, I am sliding into "I'm an idiot" territory and will just hang it up. So I wouldn't say life is good, but life is definitely getting better.