I am going against every ounce of common sense that I have...whether I even have any is debatable.....but we are going to give another couples counselor a try. We have an appointment this afternoon. I guess the fact that I'm even questioning if I have any common sense must mean I have SOME, right??? Humor me here.
I also have a confession to make. I have been smoking. I've actually been smoking on and off since March or so. Smoked quite a bit in May then mostly stopped, then since August I have been smoking pretty consistently. Not a ton....usually only one or two a day, sometimes as many as five a day. I know it's horrible for me, I hate smelling bad, I'd HATE for my girls to find out....they'd be terribly disappointed. Anyway....I haven't had one since Wednesday of last week. I'm not really DYING for one, though I would like to smoke very much. But I'm not.
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4 comments:
I just came across your blog today and had to reply. First let me tell you I have been through every emotion you have and for almost the same amount of time. My first discovery was in Feb of this year, but worse actual proof and admission was only middle of Aug this year.
I, like yourself chose not to make any rash decissions. After much flip flopping and emotion I decided to try to make it work.
It's not easy. With each good day there is one bad day, then it makes me wonder why I'm staying-I must be an idiot.
I can't say what is right for you but I can say this is the toughest thing I have ever had to deal with. No matter how great your support system is-you are the only one that can deal with your emotions on a daily basis.
What I did want to say is Thank You for publishing this blog.
Why? Because it let me know I'm not alone, that I'm not crazy in how I'm feeling or for how I'm handling this.
If I took the time to sit down and write a blog it would be a close copy of your entire blog so please know there are so many women feeling like you do.
I know you can get through this, but it can only be done taking things day by day.
When you feel upset or confused or alone-WRITE! ok, maybe not publish but write to get it out. This has helped me so much. And I don't go back and read it. I get it out and move on. It's not a sure fire cure to make you feel better but it does help.
Be strong and know there are other that support you that you have never met. Also know that by publishing you blog you can help other women feel they are not alone while going though this.
oh! stop smoking ....
your at too young and cute to be a smoker .... live longer with fewer wriknles and don't smoke!!!
Leave no stone unturned. Your man is very lucky indeed. I hope he figures it out. Soon.
Eh....he probably won't figure it out. Ever. I'm not very optimistic.
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