Quote and other stuff

"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." I had mentioned this quote a couple posts ago , received a comment on it, and thought it was worth further discussion. I think this quote can be interpreted in different ways. To ME, and my situation, I think it likely means that DH has shown me what he's capable of, shown me the kind of person he is, and I need to realize that it's true.....he's shown me who he is and I need to deal with it. But I do think it can also be untrue. There are a lot of times people choose actions that don't really "show who they are". Instead they are showing a lapse in judgment, a period of weakness, a problem that could be resolved. Everyone makes mistakes, and I guess it's how they deal with the aftermath that's important.

I have been a major wuss about something. DH and I had been seeing Dr. S together. After a major, MAJOR setback, I wouldn't let DH go anymore and had been seeing him alone. I told Dr S that I was divorcing, though I didn't want to, and he has kind of run with that.....pretty much all we discuss is how I will deal with being a single mom. He said that DH really needed to be in therapy on his own and that I needed to encourage that. So I asked DH if he would see Dr E, who was recommended by our priest. DH said yes....we saw Dr E together first, then DH saw him on his own twice, then we saw him together again and are seeing him again in a month when DH comes back. Dr E told me at our first appointment that it was fine for me to see one therapist on my own and to see another with DH, but that I'd need to tell Dr. S what I was doing. I had an appointment the following week that I needed to reschedule, so I called Dr S and left a message....said I needed to reschedule that appointment and also discuss something with him. He called back that day and left a message. I have not called him back. I just know he won't approve. He has said that he doesn't think DH is very remorseful, that I won't ever be able to trust him, and that I need to figure out how I'm going to live on my own and how I'm going to get my girls through this with as little pain and suffering as possible. And obviously it's highly likely that he's totally correct about those things. So I haven't called him back because I just don't want to hear his disapproval. I keep telling myself that I'm an adult and am free to make my own choices....good, bad, or indifferent. I just need to put on my big girl panties and pick up the phone. But I don't want to.

Dr E did mention something interesting at our last appointment. I can't really remember what I said that led up to this comment, but he said "you also just want to know if he's a pathological liar, and I plan to do some psychological testing". I am intrigued and can't wait to find out more about that.