I have been so down this week. DH is out of town. He is out of town at the same place he went last year when he was all hot and heavy with the ugly dumbass,and a lot of his plotting and lying revolved around that trip to this place. Apparently it's a trigger and I'm NOT dealing well with it at all. I've spent a lot of time staring out the window, crying, just wallowing in misery. Misery is a little strong....I'm not totally miserable....I am just sad, tired of it all.
One thing that's coming to me though.....I am not sure I love him anymore. Maybe it's just lessening. It actually kind of makes me happy, in a weird way.
I'm a party -pooper.
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5 comments:
You have every right to feel down this week. Hopefully your husband understands where these sad feelings are coming from and is super nice and attentive to you! The reminders of what happened, when it happened, where it happened, etc. are so hard to deal with (I know all too well) ... but you are strong and have been through a lot already and can get through this week as well. Give yourself a break and know that there are lots of us out here pulling & praying for you!
Nothing is wrong with you. You're going through something huge and you get to be depressed sometimes. Give yourself a hug and keep going.
Good job, processing.
Anniversaries are really tough. Anniversaries that coincide with a trip? Hari-kari time.
So sorry you're sad. And potentially discovering some profound feelings. But you are tough. You're going to be ok, no matter what happens.
i know you'll get through this ... i just don't know what the other side will look like ... and clearly, you don't either ... i do think it is good you are sorting it out ... with a therapist, in a blog, in your head .... way better than ignoring it or trying to move on before you have processed it all ....
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