Happy for me, sad for my kids.....getting out of my marriage, getting on with my life.

Friday, January 23, 2009

A little better....

....but not a whole lot.

We have a counseling appt tomorrow. I almost cancelled this one too. I just want to tell him that I want to take a break. Give me a month to get past some of these "anniversaries". But I never cancelled so I guess I'm going, unless I send DH alone. But I'm planning to tell him that I'm apprehensive about these appointments right now....that I really just don't want to face them, that getting through each day is sometimes hard enough. Discussing that should take up a nice chunk of the hour anyway. :) It's funny though....when I told DH that I didn't really want to go to the appointment, I thought he'd be all over that like wet underwear. He really wasn't. He didn't try to talk me into going, but he didn't go right along with quitting therapy either....he's just kind of acting like it's understood that we're going. I can't imagine what he's thinking.....but I wonder if he is thinking that if I give up on counseling I'm giving up on him too?

3 comments:

shrink on the couch said...

More importantly, what do you think about your desire to take a hiatus? No telling what he is thinking. In any regard, it's important for the therapist to know where you're at right now. S/he may not appreciate your ambivalence and your pain right now.

e.beck.artist said...

i would guess he does think that if you quit therapy it's cause you are done with him ... but it's just a guess ...
definitely explore your ambivalence with the therapist! sorry it's not easier!

Isle Dance said...

I'm cheering you on, whatever you do.