One day at a time....

...this is how I live my life these days. I take it one day at a time. Most days are decent. Most days I actually feel pretty happy. The lows are less low and take me less time to recover.

I like our new therapist. He doesn't seem to be afraid to say things that need to be said. And heard. For both of us. He asks pertinent questions. The old one used to fixate on DH's resentment on a myriad of issues, some of which I think are really stupid....but they are his feelings and he is entitled to them no matter what my opinion is. New guy tells him that he needs his own therapist to help him deal with it.

I was reading some posts the other day on a message board I go to. Someone asked the question "what's the worst thing that's ever happened to you?" I would have to say this whole ordeal is my worst thing. But some of the other responses were heartbreaking....my grief and pain and sadness pales in comparison. I guess no matter what, things can always be worse.

New therapist today - so kinda looking forward to it, kinda not

We have an appointment this afternoon with our new therapist. I have talked to him on the phone twice. He seems very nice...has a sweet, soothing voice. I know that doesn't mean anything, but at least just talking to him didn't fill me with dread. DH is on-board.....I told him I'd be happy to go alone and would rather have it that way if he is not going to be open and honest. So we'll see. Wish me luck.

Started my class yesterday with a bang....I've finished half of the assignments for the week and am getting ready to take a quiz. She puts out the assignments for the entire quarter, so I can work ahead if I want. Just have to do each week's assignments/quizzes by Saturday. This online class business is kinda fun.

Still plugging along....

....I will not go into details....in no mood to.....but there've been lots of ups and downs. Very unsure of where things are going. I am taking it one day at a time.

New developments I DO want to talk about: 1) we are seeing a new therapist starting on Tuesday. We got dumped/were about to fire our old one. I went for a male perspective this time. Actually, I had planned to go alone after DH and I had a conversation where he accused me of "forcing" him to go to counseling. So my attitude was "fine...don't go". Last week he called and asked me where we stood with counseling. I said I was looking for someone (didn't mention that it was for me) and he said good, he thinks we still need it, what did I think? 2) I am starting a class at the community college. The whole job search was overwhelming for me. I feel terribly unqualified for anything. So I'm taking an intro to Excel, Microsoft Word, and Powerpoint. It's an online class....I won't even need to go to the campus for anything. I would like to take the next class when I'm done with this one. I'm actually looking forward to getting started tomorrow morning! Hopefully when I'm done I'll able to call myself proficient, at least in those 3 things! :)

My 4 readers will be disappointed....

...but I don't think I'll be updating my blog for a while. My life has become too pathetic, too sad, too hopeless to bother. I'd feel stupid even putting most of it in writing. :(