Happy for me, sad for my kids.....getting out of my marriage, getting on with my life.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Feeling a little down :(

Nothing's happened (that I know of...when will I quit saying that??), but this is the time last year that everything got started up. I guess this will always make me sad...just like lots of other "anniversaries" associated with this whole mess.

We had another counseling appointment a few days ago. I probably sound like a freak saying this, but I actually rather enjoy our sessions. This guy is interesting. He makes me think...and no matter what the outcome is with my marriage, I'm glad I've seen him.

I mentioned my friend who recently found out that her husband had been unfaithful. What a mess that has turned out to be. She installed a keylogger on their computer and has been able to glean a plethora of information from that. It's actually mind-boggling. I probably sound like a freak saying this too, but her husband makes mine look like a saint. His issues go way way WAY beyond just an extramarital affair.

8 comments:

Isle Dance said...

Wise friend. Challenging reminders. The good news: It really can all get better. In whichever direction you choose. You're just choosing the hard work right now, and your future will thank you for it later. Keep up the great work.

Anonymous said...

Hi
I just found your blog and think you are amazing the way you are dealing with all this. I'm sure you don't feel too amazing but what you say all makes so much sense and is so well thought out and rationalized for someone who must have a very traumatized heart.If your mind is a mess,you are certainly good at disguising it. I dread to think what garbage I would blog in your circumstances! Lol! (Probably would involve lots of bad words!)
I hope if this ever happened to me that I could be similar. (If,I didn't kill him right away that is!)

The keylogger thing is interesting as I had never heard about that. Mind you I expect there's lot's of ways of finding out things in that way.I'm not very technical so I wouldn't know. In fact if you don't like my comment,don't worry because I will probably never bloomin find your blog again anyway! lol!
Hope I do though.:)

Trying real hard to move on said...

I like your comment. :) It was nice. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if it's just me but, have you ever noticed the more people you talk to about your husband cheating the more you find it's more common than you thought? I have known my husband has been cheating for awhile now but have chosen not to tell him I know because I don't make enough money to live on my own. Shoot, I don't even think I could afford the cost of a divorce right now. Funny how the bad economy messes with you.
Stay strong! :)

Isle Dance said...

Anonymous - Does it feel a bit rebellious, too, to not tell? Time to plan and leave, even if it's a surprise to him later? Not that it should be a surprise to them...since they know all along that cheating is what essentially destroys (any remaining) trust in the relationship for good. Oh the stories we could tell...

Trying real hard to move on said...

What I find myself wondering is how many people have dealt with a cheating spouse and you just don't know about it? If the statistics are correct, way too many marriages are affected by infidelity. So people I see every single day have probably dealt with it too....and people you just wouldn't ever imagine, either.

I am terrible at keeping my mouth shut so I would not be very good at keeping the info that my husband was cheating to myself. Do you think he knows you know? Does that make ANY sense?

My friend, the fairly black & white, cut-and-dried, judgmental one had another friend come to her recently and tell her she was divorcing. Her husband confessed a short lived affair to her several months ago and she has chosen to end her marriage. The husband confessed because he thought she knew. She had no idea...not a single clue. He had ended the other relationship already when he told her.

e.beck.artist said...

hey ....
just wanted to give you a hello and a chin up and a thinking about you comment ...
ok?

blognut said...

What's the old saying? "Nothing worth doing is easy?" No matter how this turns out, you will never have to question yourself (although you might accidentally choose to once or twice). You will always know that you tried to make it work. I admire you for that. Feel better!