Happy for me, sad for my kids.....getting out of my marriage, getting on with my life.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I think I need some Xanax.....

....just to go to our counseling appointments. They are not bad....I thought lots of ugly things would come out but they don't. She doesn't focus on the affair so much as the state of our relationship that led us to this, and what we want more of/less of/to improve in our marriage. But I still dread the appointments. At least I get breakfast out afterwards (we do that every week).

More on the Sybil thing.....at times I am very peaceful and feel like all is as right as it can be with my world. Then the next thing I know I am just analyzing the hell out of some event, some "clue", something said/not said. I'd say my moments of doubt and desperation are getting less frequent but they are painful nonetheless.

7 comments:

shrink on the couch said...

sometimes its said therapy isn't working if you don't feel some trepidation or anxiety about your sessions. its only natural you approach it with a fearful stance, never knowing whether this is the week he drops a bomb, for example. but i like the breakfast out idea. gives you time to recover and digest (har har)

Trying real hard to move on said...

Then it must be working. :) Actually I think it is. I just don't look forward to it much. It is always better than I think it's going to be. Today was actually quite enlightening.

e.beck.artist said...

..... whadja have for breakfast? that's my favorite meal to have out and i never go out for it ..... and at least you are eating ... that sounds like a step in the right direction too ..... sorry it is so hard, but i'm glad you are going .....

Trying real hard to move on said...

We went to a popular local place for breakfast....I had an omelet, biscuits & gravy, and grits. I am definitely eating.

I'm glad I am going too. I wish we had gone years ago. I actually got a lot out of today's session. The lady is kinda quacky acting sometimes....but I really do think she is very helpful.

shrink on the couch said...

grits even, huh? Didn't know you could find grits in OhiO!

shrink on the couch said...

I thought to add, its real progress that you have moments even, of feeling all is right with the world. I bet a couple months ago you didn't have that feeling ever.

Trying real hard to move on said...

Two months ago I didn't think I'd EVER have another good moment in my life ever again.